Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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