Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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