I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize