my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
