Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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