you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
