Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
