A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
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