You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
