My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Randomize
