I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
