Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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