just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
