For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
