dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
