Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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