Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
