Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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