she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
