i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I think I just sharted jello shots
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
