...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
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