I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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