i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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