what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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