I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
