we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
