I'm laying in your front yard are you home
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
