yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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