I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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