he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
