Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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