i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
