We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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