in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
