i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
