my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
It's like God shit irony all over that family
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
