You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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