i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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