Your face is a jimmy john
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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