i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
