You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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