and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize