oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I love having hate sex.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
