I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
