Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Hippo gnu deer
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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