my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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