People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
We smell like vodka and hangover
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