its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize