What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
