Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
