He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Every concussion has its silver lining
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
