Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
