Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
