The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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