wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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