hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
