mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
