I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize