does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
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