dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize