Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
