So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize