recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
