Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
