I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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