I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
All I want is dick and wine.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
