he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
