Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
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