why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
