dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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